We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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