Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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