I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
