Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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