I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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