i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
