It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
