we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize