Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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