no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
