You're my little dorito
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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