can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Let's paint friendship bongs
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
