Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
this will be a night to untag.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
