Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
