forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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