i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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