White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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