why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If I had your ass I would rule the world
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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