i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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