Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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