Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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