omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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