D3 body, D1 cock
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
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