Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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