so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
