he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
