It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
