day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
