oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
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So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize