I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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