the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
