We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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