with your own penis?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
