It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
