why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
