I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
