Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
