i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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