dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
and she was petting her beer can
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm too high and old for this...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
