It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
