The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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