Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
