Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
