Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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