every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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