ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
