I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize