I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
