im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm always down for nudity.
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