Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
