FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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