I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
