Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
