So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize