She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
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I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
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He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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