You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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