JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
