thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
