Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
