I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
