Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
