great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
