I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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