I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person